Racism and Wedding Industry: Thoughts from a Black Wedding Planner in Paris

I wanted to share some thoughts here on the history in the making right now. We are in the wave of a monumental shift in consciousness where contrary to what it may seem like because a lot of what seems full of chaos and anger, is to unify and connect us as divine human beings of love.

Black lives matter.

We can no longer refuse to give the same opportunity of life to myself or any person simply because of the color of our skin.

George Floyd life mattered. Breonna Taylor life mattered. The lives of so many black people killed at the hands of racist police lives mattered.

Now you may be saying yes, but what does this all have to do with weddings and elopements in Paris and romance and France and …

I’ll tell you. The highest experience of life is love.

I believe in love and if you have ever had me as a wedding planner, or met me you will know that I hold space for love.

We have seen in that video of George being murdered and before his last breath calling out for his mama. That was not love. This is important to call out and to fight.

Light must fight darkness.

Fight it with the tools you have and any way you can.

Because silence will not save us, inactivity will not unify us, and bypassing will never resonate with love.

There are many ways to step up and listen, and even do more. Please see my previous posts about some things you can do.

Wedding industry and racism

Within the wedding industry, there is a divide like in many industries that have overlooked and neglected the presence, work, and being of black people.

I’ve been a wedding planner in Paris for 6 years and a black woman all my life so I will only give my two cents the best I can; this is not to invalidate the work or indivuality of anyone else, as I hope we can see that even as black people we have similar and diverse experices at the same time.

So come with me.

This morning I want to share a bit of my heart here. I am very lucky because I have the most amazing clients in the world!

Really my strength comes from my clients more than it does from the industry because I have very rarely felt appreciated here. And now after listening to numerous black wedding planners from all over the world speak up online – the theme resonates worldwide. Our presence is largely ignored by industry associations, awards, workshops, etc… despite the high caliber of our work.

Why is this?

We are not asking for a handout. We are simply saying see us and see the beauty of our work too. We are not asking to compete or to take away from any other professional – the world is abundant and there is enough opportunities for all.

Be on the right side of history.

See us.

Black Lives Matters.

Black Representation Matters.

Representaion is unity.

Representation is love.

This is how we fight with love.

We as Black wedding professionals no longer want to “prove” we are good enough, we know we are good enough.

We have carried the burden of proof all our lives because we have always been navigating two worlds and taught to always do twice as much just to be seen. Let us work together more in unity, and more in love.

Love

Love is about holding space and showing up consistently. I would love to see action taken around Black Lives Matter in the wedding industry worldwide. Not only posting a black square but also creating a constant flow of energy that says I see you, my Black colleague brothers and sisters. I see you, friend.

Now I don’t have all the answers but I’m sure we can come together to find solutions.

We can do the right thing; even with small steps personally and professionally.

Unlearn and re-educate yourself about systematic racism and injustice.

Get personal. Get political.

Yes, I said it.

I am a professional woman. I am an educated woman. I am a well-traveled woman. I am also a Black woman. I am also a Black mother. I don’t have the luxury of not being personal or not getting political. Politics directly affects if I live or die! It affects how I am treated every day. It affects the way I navigate the world.

Stand with me, we can do it together.

It could be as small as doing some research or signing petitions. Vote!

Support black businesses. Black families are disproportionately suffering more deaths due to COVID 19 and at the same time dealing with an open wound trauma of Racism.

Hire Black professionals because we are good, we are not looking for charity. Consider us, we are here and we are super talented.

In what ways are you also checking yourself for the privilege? Continue to educate yourself.

I am here and open to discussions. You can email me at [email protected]

Be gentle with yourself too, there’s a lot to unlearn, and I here to hold space for the unfolding.

Rest if need be but let us keep up the good fight. Racism won’t disappear overnight. This should be a marathon not a sprint to equality and more love.

Yanique

photo taken by D’Arcy Benincosa

PS

Also a back story; it’s been super hard to process everything going on and put it in words, but here’s a note I had written earlier one morning to a Facebook group by D’Arcy called Play it Brave :

“I thank you for this. I don’t know how many other black women are in this groups but I wanted to share some thoughts on life and business right now. It’s all been so heavy. I’ve spent every single day since seeing that photo (because I refuse to watch the video – my son did and he’s not doing too good) crying when will it end. When will I not fear for my son to be treated differently because he’s black, or worse killed because he’s black. He’s a pure beautiful boy just like any other kid. I know that not everyone is racist. But that won’t protect my son. Actively showing you’re not racist will. Because silence breeds violence. Show up in any way you can, even if it’s small, we black mothers need allies, we need support, we are exhausted, we are having the same joys and issues as you, but on top of that there’s a whole world of racial issues from daily micro aggressions to murders. I have deep admiration for everyone and believe we can do better, we can have the difficult conversations, we can educate ourselves. We are our sisters keeper. Keep me. Keep my babies alive. With love❤️ @myparisianlife”